In the Old Testament, we read of a king named Saul. God chose him to be the first king of Israel. The prophet Samuel anointed him and prophesied about his immediate future. He told him minute details of the next few hours and then said something amazing.
The Spirit of the LORD will come powerfully upon you, and you will prophesy with them; and you will be changed into a different person. Once these signs are fulfilled, do whatever your hand finds to do, for God is with you.
1 Samuel 10:6-7
It all happened exactly as Samuel told him. Once the Spirit of God came upon Saul, Samuel said a strange thing, “Do whatever your hand finds to do, for God is with you.”
It reminds me of a quote from St. Augustine, “Love God, and do whatever you please.”
It seems blasphemous at first but it’s not. It’s one of the most powerful and freeing truths on the planet. God meant for His children to be one thing while we walk this planet; free.
So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.
Galatians 5:11
There is only one true free Being in the universe and that is God. Only when we are one with Him do we experience freedom. We are slaves to our flesh, our ego, and our desires until we find out what real life is. Real life is being hooked up to the source of all life and goodness. King Saul got to experience that reality in a very dramatic way. He was blown away and walked in that power and love for a very short time.
Therein lies my greatest fear.
Saul tasted the goodness of God, the freedom of God, and the power of God. God exalted him to the highest position in Israel. People adored him and followed him. He quickly became addicted to power and position over the presence of the Living God.
What we can taste, touch, see, smell, and feel are such temptations to us all.
What I’ve noticed both in scripture and real life is this, people rarely finish well. No matter how strong God’s presence is on a person, they often still harden up toward God and start on a downward spiral from which they never recover.
To follow hard after God until we die takes a tremendous amount of effort (to keep Him as our focus) and humility; two things we humans are not very good at. We tend to be both lazy (we want an easy button) and proud. To live in the presence of God 24/7 cannot be done without going to our own funeral. Two opposing wills cannot live in the same body. God is a gentleman. He will not force us to walk with Him. He offers us oneness with Himself. In our arrogance, we think our own wisdom is greater than what God says in His Word. I have experienced it in my own heart and I see it all the time.
God has written His heart down in the Bible.
It tells us every single thing we need to know about how to live life on earth and how to know and experience the God of the universe. It’s not rocket science. Most of the Bible is pretty cut and dried. Even if the ten commandments were all we had to go by, most of our troubles would disappear.
God’s mind is beyond comprehension and His words are beautiful. Yet, we try our best to twist them to accommodate our sin and rebellion. We try to please God and ourselves and we think it will work. I can promise you, it will not end well. Our desires and God’s desires are not even in the same universe. Our desires and wisdom are selfish at best, demonic at worst.
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.
James 3:13-15
None of us should deny our bitter envy and selfish ambition. We all have it. We either boast about it or deny it (unless we have let God help us).
We say things like we are going to conquer the world or we try to act like we are actually humble and don’t care. Both are straight from hell.
I remember being a guest speaker at a small church years ago. I sat through the Sunday school class with some ladies and one of them spoke up about the lesson and expressed how she didn’t want any glory at all about anything she did.
I spoke up and said I wanted all the glory and how I have to regularly beg God to help me with it because I’m so proud. They looked at me like I had three heads.
I have sat in the presence of God long enough to want to be repulsed by my own bitter envy and selfish ambition.
I can’t get that junk out of me but I can expose it to God and others and beg God to deliver me from myself.
C.S. Lewis hit the nail on the head.
If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realise that one is proud. And a biggish step, too. At least, nothing whatever can be done before it. If you think you are not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed.
All of us have King Saul in us. We want to save face, look good to everyone around us, and steal the glory of the Living God.
When I read of him and see his hard heart, I want God to do whatever it takes to keep me in His presence.
I don’t trust myself as far as I can throw myself (at my current size that would not be far), and neither should you.
It doesn’t take much to get a hard heart.
As soon as our hearts turn to anything on this planet other than God, it starts to cool down and harden up.
King Saul lost everything because of his bitter envy of David and his selfish ambition as king. God gladly gave him everything he needed at the beginning and would have continued to exalt and bless him. King Saul made the mistake most people who don’t finish well make; he wanted God’s gifts more than he wanted God’s presence.
When he sinned, he said something chilling to the prophet Samuel.
Then Saul pleaded again, “I know I have sinned. But please, at least honor me before the elders of my people and before Israel by coming back with me so that I may worship the LORD your God.”
1 Samuel 15:30
Samuel became nothing more to Saul than an avenue for God’s blessing. Saul only confessed his sin so he could get Samuel to exalt him before the people. He even admitted that God was Samuel’s God, not his. He didn’t care; he was all about Saul by that time.
I counsel many people and I always ask them about their prayer life and time in the Word. It’s not to make them feel guilty or put them on the spot. I happen to know God’s Presence is our only hope.
We long for peace and joy on our terms. We want our dignity along with Jesus. Jesus lost His dignity for us as he hung naked on the cross.
If we are not willing to expose ourselves to God and others as we really are, we will never know what it means to walk in His glory.
My worst fear is that I would turn from God and end up with a hard heart.
It takes a small turning, a half-obedience, a lust we must have satisfied. Before we know it, we are stone cold and unaffected. We no longer hear Him or have a desire to seek Him. I have felt this start in my heart and it is terrifying. I hope it always is.
No wonder God said something over and over in scripture:
As has just been said: “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion.”
Hebrews 3:15
God forbid we hear Him speak, and harden up.
He can deal with any sin and help us in any weakness. He wants to. The only thing He won’t do is make us turn to Him. It breaks His heart but there is no such thing as forced love.
“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing.
Matthew 23:37
Jesus longs for you. If you hear Him, run under His wings…today.
