“For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”
1 Peter 3:5-6
Can we really be fearless in the face of what would terrify us?
Those two words, fear and frightening, are actually translated from two different words in Greek but both definitions include terror. How God knows the hearts of both men and women. If we all would be simple enough to look to scripture for how to handle the opposite sex, we could throw away many books on relationships and marriage. Our Creator has told us all we need to know. We often think our man or our woman are the exception to what God has said. The power released into our lives and homes when we start taking God at His Word is incredible. The reason we don’t we see homes changed on a regular basis is we think we know our spouses better than God. Therefore, we apply our own logic to the situation so we can fix them.
“The reason we don’t we see homes changed on a regular basis is we think we know our spouses better than God.”
Since Adam and Eve ate the fruit, men and women have been jockeying for power and laying blame. Instead of celebrating our differences, we try to change the other person into who we are. Proverbs 21:2 says, Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the heart. Meaning, we all think our way is right. Therefore, if in my own mind, I am right always, my goal is going to be to change my man to my way of thinking.
Thank goodness God has a way to help me. The second part of the scripture is our hope, “but the LORD weighs the heart.” I can offer my soul up to God and say, “Tell me the truth.” The word “weighs” means “to regulate.” My heart needs maintenance and regulation often. I can’t change the fact that I’m human and think I’m right all the time, but I can be wise enough to believe scripture and go to God and ask Him to reveal my wrong thinking.
“I can’t change the fact that I’m human and think I’m right all the time, but I can be wise enough to believe scripture and go to God and ask Him to reveal my wrong thinking.”
Nothing could be more unnatural for a woman than to be submissive to her husband. The Greek word, hupotasso, is actually a military term meaning to rank under. In a non-military form it means “a voluntary attitude of giving in or cooperating.”
Let’s go back to the word “terror.” Giving in and cooperating means giving up control. People are control freaks, especially women. Men want peace, women want control. It’s the perfect storm to destroy a family. God’s way is perfect in an imperfect world, but what He says doesn’t come naturally to us. We have to search out what’s right in His Word and by faith, apply it to our lives.
God says to the woman, give up control and get under your husband’s leadership. Most women think to themselves, “the trash will never get taken out, the bills won’t be paid on time, the kids will eat chocolate for every meal and I’m going to be having morning sex.”
Men are wired so differently than women. 1 Peter 3:1-2 says, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
Men are visual and women like to talk. Women say, tell me and I’ll believe you. Men say, show me with your actions and I’ll believe you.
“Even if a man is not worthy of our respect, God will rise up and reward us as we do our part in the marriage.”
If women only knew what God would do in their men’s hearts if they would treat them with respect, they would run to do it. Men have a great need to be a hero. If they are not a hero to their wives, it does something deep and painful in their psyche. Even if a man is not worthy of our respect, God will rise up and reward us as we do our part in the marriage. When we do our part by faith, God will be faithful to give us the affection for our man and protection from what we fear.
God is a genius. He says in the scripture, “ For this is how the holy women who hoped in God….” Notice it doesn’t say “hoped in her husband.” Husbands are fallible, often unreliable and can be very disappointing. God is not any of those things. If I am going to submit to my husband, my hope has got to be in the God above my husband.
Sarah was given to Abimelech by her husband because he was afraid he would be killed because of Sarah’s beauty. Just as Abraham suspected, the king noticed Sarah and wanted her for his own. He told Abimelech she was his sister and just handed her over to him. We know from 1 Peter 3 Sarah hoped in God, not Abraham. Therefore, God came to Abimelech in a dream by night and said to him, “Behold, you are a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is a man’s wife.” Genesis 20:3
When we do what God says, God takes it upon Himself to be our protector. God went to one of the most powerful men on the planet and threatened him on behalf of Sarah. She did nothing to defend herself, she only placed her hope in God.
“We may rank under our husband but our God is the Commander in Chief. God has an order in this universe and when we get in our place in His system, He takes it upon Himself to protect us.”
We may rank under our husband but our God is the Commander in Chief. God has an order in this universe and when we get in our place in His system, He takes it upon Himself to protect us. It’s terrifying to give up control but that’s exactly what God says to do. If we will do what He says, we will see Him move mountains (and our husbands will see it too). The nature of faith is we have to do what is written before we see the mountain move. That’s the hard part. Faith is the heroic effort of our lives and without it, we cannot please God.
Submission has been the biggest faith builder in my life to date. When I started on this journey, I was afraid of everything. Through giving control to God through submission to my husband, I have seen mountain after mountain move. I have gotten under God’s wing and I have found it to be the safest place on the planet. As I hear His heartbeat and feel His warmth, I find it impossible to fear anything that is frightening.